Cheers to the Bear

Please join me in thanking Nathan for hosting a terrific (for the second year running) Football Fest.  Of course, we also need to recognize his outstanding Fest Bowl performance and MVP award.  Grrrr!

The Bear arrives at Slush-ahem-Fest Bowl 2014.  He's all smiles.  He knows he's bringing it.  The A-game is coming out of hibernation.

Look at that form!  And under pressure!!

Nathan takes home the Ray Lewis jersey!!!  Bear:  how do you feel??

Speech!

Football Fest IS TOMORROW

So.  It's on.  Timelines are all to the right.  Be at Nathan's for 12 noon.  Map is to the right.  Remember to bring your booze and sleeping gear (and football gear, and fancy nighttime gear).

Here's an example of what awaits:

Yes, the Bear got a new pool table for his newly-finished basement.  You can play games between hot-tubs, I suppose.

Anyhow, here are a couple links to prop bets you might like to make with people tomorrow.  I'll print a couple copies in case you want to bet with people.

Seahawks/Saints props and analysis:  

http://linemakers.sportingnews.com/nfl/2014-01-09/saints-vs-seahawks-props-fantasy-weather-odds-betting-lines-drew-brees

Pats/Colts props and analysis:

http://linemakers.sportingnews.com/nfl/2014-01-09/colts-vs-patriots-props-fantasy-odds-betting-line-andrew-luck-tom-brady

Merton Hanks TD Chicken Dance...who can do it tomorrow!!??

GunZnLipstick will not be in charge of the 2015 Football Fest countdown

Ric Flair won't attend 9ers/Panthers game

Breaking news.  Stop the presses:  http://espn.go.com/nfl/preview13/story/_/id/10269119/ric-flair-attend-game-san-francisco-49ers-carolina-panthers

Squares

Football Fest 2014 squares are going to work like this.  Let me know (starting now) if you're in.  It's $20 for two squares in each game.  It's that simple.  Only 12 guys can enter.  Nathan will get a free square as host in each game.  

Prizes:  $40 at half, $80 at end of game (for each game)

Full details:

Hey Tom! Hey Andrew!!

Tom...hey Tom!  New England is hosting the night game at Football Fest 2014!!!  I know, I know...awesome eh?  Can I get a high-five!!??

LOL.  Tom Brady left hanging.  Even he can look like a dork.  This NEVER happens to Peyton Manning.

Hey Andrew...did you hear that Football Fest 2014 is only two days away!

Actually I found a text message exchange published online between Shea Serrano, a contributor to Grantland.com, and Andrew Luck.  It's awesome:

Me: Yo!
Andrew: hello
Me: holy christ man what a game!
Andrew: it was neat, I thought
Me: my boner will probably never go away
Andrew: what?
Me: nothing nvm congratulations
Andrew: thank you
Me: I was watching at home with my sons
Andrew: yeah?
Me: yeah. It was crazy. I was telling them how you're from houston
Andrew: well, not technically. I was born in D.C. and lived in London and came to Houston later
Me: YOU'RE FROM HOUSTON, ANDREW. YOU'RE ALL WE HAVE ANYMORE, ANDREW. DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE TEXANS, ANDREW? DON'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US, ANDREW.
Andrew: I heard they kicked the Texans out of the league because of how sucky you guys were this season
Me: :'(
Me: i have feelings, andrew
Me: what were you thinking when you recovered that fumble and dove into the end zone? Because I was thinking OHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Andrew: same
Me: when you threw that bomb to Hilton for the lead I was so excited that I jumped up, screamed, picked up my son and then spiked him on the floor like a football
Andrew: is that true?
Me: YES!
Me: no
Me: but you get it
Andrew: I get it
Me: what was your favorite thing to do when you were in Houston, which is where you are from
Andrew: I just play football. That's it.
Me: but besides that
Andrew: I guess I liked studying.
Me: boooooooooooring
Andrew: did you know I was co-valedictorian?
Me: so was I
Andrew: really?
Me: YES!
Me: no
Me: :(
Me: but one time in high school I learned all the words to Mase's Harlem World album in like two days, so my parents were pretty proud of me too
Me: what were you thinking when you guys were down by 700 points?
Andrew: I thought we just needed to buckle down and play Colt football and we'd be able to get right back in the game.
Me: stop
Me: for real
Me: because I was thinking WTF IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW THE DEVIL IS REAL IS ANDREW LUCK REALLY ABOUT TO LOSE A PLAYOFF FOOTBALL GAME TO ALEX SMITH
Andrew: same
Me: Alex Smith is the worst.
Andrew: he's not
Me: I mean, I know. but you get it. He's just so alexsmithy. His name isn't even cool.
Me: Alex Smith.
Me: I can't even say it without making a smarmy face.
Me: Alex Smith. Gross. It sounds like the name of someone who sells mattresses. "I got a mattress guy. Alex Smith. Great mattress guy." Quarterbacks should have cool names. Joe Montana is a boss-ass name. Tom Brady. Joe Namath. Troy Aikman. Peyton Manning. Drew Brees. All of them, great names. Warren Moon. HIS NAME WAS WARREN GODDAMN MOON THAT'S THE ILLEST SHIT I EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE THE ONLY THING BETTER WOULD'VE BEEN IF SOMEONE WAS NAMED ANDY ASTEROID OR WHATEVER
ME: OH FUUUUUU I'M GONNA START CALLING YOU ANDY ASTEROID
Andrew: don't
Me: dude, andy asteroid is definitely like 1,000 percent better than Andrew Luck.
Andrew: it's not
Me: :/
Me: how are you feeling about New England next week?
Andrew: it's gonna be a tough game
Me: are you going to try to start losing by four touchdowns and then come back and win
Andrew: I am not
Me: good, good
Me: because if you keep doing that I'm going to run out of sons to spike on the floor
Me: #RIPMySonISpikedOnTheFloor
Andrew: stop
Me: sry
Me: all right, man. good luck next week.
Andrew: thank you
Me: it's gonna be great
Andrew: hope so
Me: tom terrific vs. andy asteroid
Andrew: nope
Me: dang

I wish Jim Harbaugh was coming to Football Fest

3 days until Football Fest!  Your daily reminder:  we need food contributions.  And we need someone to step up and buy water as well as paper plates, cups, napkins, and cutlery.

Now for more important matters:  the truth is, I don't really like Jim Harbaugh.  I think he's a good coach and you can't really question his coaching record.  But he's a tool.  Most importantly, however: he makes me laugh.  Doesn't he make you laugh?  Just look at his face!

Here:

Or how about this one:

I like this one a lot (even though it was probably taken at the Panthers/9ers game we attended):

I'm not sure he likes what he's hearing here:

Oh, there's more to the earlier picture!  He either thinks it was holding or he really wants to do something to you with his fist:

Jim doesn't really have a 50 inch waist (I'm pretty sure).  I just think he had like 100 layers on during the frigid Packers game last weekend.  Note to self:  if I have to layer like an Olympic layerer, I'm not going to tuck in my shirt-coat-sweater.

Now THIS is pure Harbaugh gold:

And finally to close out my Harbute, at least he's happier away from the pressures of NFL coaching. Hey Jimbo:  are you planning to kill someone?

4 days to go...so?

Lots of news to share.  First of all, the roster of attendees is filling up quite nicely.  Looks to be another big event this year.  With this many guys attending, it's up to all of us to bring something on the food front.  The list to the right is up-to-date.  Please send me an email with what you can bring.

The games should be great, although after watching this I kinda wish that SF was playing on Saturday.  I will be hoping for another Nature Boy appearance!



While you may be freezing today, it looks like things are going to come around by Friday.  The latest forecast is calling for +1 on Friday and +4 on Saturday.  While the ground will likely remain rock-solid, at least the risk of frost bite will be reduced.

Finally, even if you're still not looking on the brighter side...a least you're not the owner of this ticket:

Football Fest Matchups

From Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback:

Saturday, 4:35 p.m. ET: New Orleans (No. 6, 12-5) at Seattle (No. 1, 13-3). They met five weeks ago tonight, at CenturyLink Field, and the Seahawks embarrassed the Saints 34-7. Seattle’s shown signs of mortality since.

Saturday, 8:15 p.m. ET: Indianapolis (No. 4, 12-5) at New England (No. 2, 12-4). The only game that isn’t a rematch of a regular-season game this year. They did meet last year, and the Pats put up 59 on the Colts. But T.Y. Hilton wasn’t T.Y. Hilton then. Come to think of it, Julian Edelman wasn’t Julian Edelman either.

Holy crap - this is Dawson's winning kick

Someone needs to bust this out next week!

Host teams for the Fest Games!

Hey dudes:

Looks like we get @Seattle with the early game and @New England for the night game.  Should be awesome!!!

http://www.nfl.com/schedules/2013/POST